Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
