You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
