Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
