I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
