i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
