How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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