Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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