im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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