The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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