Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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