And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Help. Why am I so naked?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
