I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
