During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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