Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
