I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
