I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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