you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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