when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
