Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
