I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
