I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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