My Higher Power is John Stamos
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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