you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
