So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you will always have a special place in my vag
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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