We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
