Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
