If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
