her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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