I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
