so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
