Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
