Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I died a long time ago.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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