physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
