I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
