Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
