I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
