i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
