i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
