How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
