Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
