I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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