i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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