My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
