I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
