how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
