Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
