I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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