oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
