he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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