i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
